Meeting people online is normal now, through dating apps, social media, and even “wrong number” texts. But the same tools that help us connect can also be used by scammers.

At Exchange Bank of Northeast Missouri, we want you and your loved ones to feel safe, both emotionally and financially. Use this guide to learn how romance scams work, the red flags to watch for, and what to do if you think you’ve been targeted.

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What Is a Romance Scam?

A romance scam happens when someone creates a fake identity online, builds a relationship, and then asks for money or personal information. It may start with a friendly message and lots of attention. Soon, the person shares stories, makes big promises, and talks about a future together, until a “crisis” appears and they ask for help.

Common money requests include:

  • Paying for travel so they can visit
  • Covering “urgent” medical bills
  • Paying legal or visa fees
  • Putting money into a “can’t-miss” investment or crypto

Once money is sent, the scammer often disappears, or comes back asking for more.

Who Do Romance Scammers Target?

Anyone can be targeted. We see cases across all ages in Northeast Missouri. Some groups get hit more often simply because scammers think they’ll respond:

  • Older adults who may be widowed or living alone
  • Women over 40 approached by “professionals” working overseas
  • Men seeking companionship, sometimes tied to sextortion threats
  • Young adults messaged on Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, or gaming platforms

How Romance Scams Usually Unfold

Most follow the same playbook:

  1. Initial contact – A message on a dating app, social site, or text. They quickly move to private chat (WhatsApp, email).
  2. Building trust – Lots of attention, daily chats, and stories that mirror your interests. They claim to be far away or “on assignment,” so meeting isn’t easy.
  3. Creating urgency – A sudden problem: medical issues, legal trouble, lost passport, or blocked travel plans.
  4. Requesting money – Payment through hard-to-trace methods (gift cards, wire transfers, crypto, or money apps).
  5. Disappearing or escalating – They vanish—or keep asking, sometimes trying to use you to move money for them.

Red Flags to Watch For

  • Fast “I love you” messages after only a few days or weeks
  • Refusing video calls or never meeting in person
  • Stories that change or don’t make sense
  • Requests for money, gift cards, or crypto
  • Pressure to act right now
  • Telling you not to talk to friends or family

If something feels off, it probably is. Trust your gut.

How to Protect Yourself

  • Limit personal info on public profiles (workplace, address, financial details).
  • Verify identities: try a reverse image search; ask for a quick live video call.
  • Take it slow before sharing feelings—or money.
  • Never send money to someone you haven’t met in person.
  • Talk to someone you trust if you’re unsure. A second opinion helps.

What to Do If You’ve Been Scammed

  • Stop contact immediately.
  • Call your bank to secure your accounts and review recent activity.
  • Change passwords and enable two-factor authentication.
  • Report it to law enforcement or a federal fraud site.
  • Get support. These scams are personal; talking to someone can help.

We’re Here to Help

If you receive a suspicious message or request for money, call us before you act. Our local team can help you spot warning signs and protect your accounts.

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